Compártelo



Panama, On the boat to Cartagena, Sometimes traveling sucks

I am waiting for the taxi boat in Cartagena, passport control and freedom ticket to Colombia. Spending last torture minutes on the boat. Ok, It's time to start living (At the moment I am reading this again, am after crazy night in Cartagena, all good really back to live). I'm so enough of this fucking motor (pseudo-sail) boat from Panama to Cartagina. I just want to check in the hostel and relax. I am so enough of the captain and the atmosphere he caused on the boat. I can't stand any minute here anymore. I need a space where I can't express myself, my feelings, my joy of life, my way. It supposed to be fun but ended up as a prison. I would never like to repeat this state of mind anymore. Life is full of surprised, one can never expect what will happen. I love my life and I will never give away sense of fun, happiness. I will never give away power over me. But even so I will stay happy inside, and full of personal thoughts. There are some people have never experienced this feeling, some people like to be imprisoned, ruled. I like to be my own manager. Only me responsible for my thoughts, moves, feelings. I just wanted to take it out from my chest.



My expectation are not high. I just want to be myself again. I want to meet a nice girl and friendly people with whom I can feel as a part of a family not a peace of the crowd. I want to take more photos again. I want to check my email, take a shower, walk around the town with the big smile on my face. I want to try tasty food, feel the smell of fresh coffee. I just want to see a beautiful woman smiling back to me, I want to meet friendly happy locals. I want to get into the crowd of people dancing passionate salsa, where the bodies are so close that you're having a feeling that the only difference between sex and dance is the clothes they are wearing. I just want to be part of that fiesta. I want to rumba.

At the end I want to get rid of that karmic seeds that push me always into trouble. My nature have never been easy going in 100%. There was always some kind of pain, some kind of stigma embed on my soul which led me into trouble. I can't just blame my childhood. It just happens to me from time to time. I have no control over it. All I can do is to use my personality to for positive actions to create good stuff as much as possible, or get rid of the situation were I have to deal with people trying to take control over me. Whenever it's been my father telling me what to do, and not explaining why, or my not-very-smart poor teachers in primary and secondary school. Whenever is a group of random people I am going to spend lots of time in the closed space as car, boat, or anything. I just need to have an escape for w while in order to feel good. That's why I can't stand any type of personality trying directly influence my way of thinking. Anyway good bless all people. I just wanted to share with you that sometimes travels sucks and you have to go over it. It's early in the morning and I'm feeling a different person. Yday I had awesome night with super friendly Colombians and I am back on track. Back on happy living. Nothing lasts forever.